Saturday, 23 September 2017

Angel Baby

Dear angel baby when you left, I started feeling sad, bereft,
A part of me no longer here, your life reflected in my tears,
Many didn't even know, that  you were in me, 12 weeks grown,
Like a secret I can't share, I think of you and blankly stare.

The words cut through me like a knife ... 'incompatible with life'.
Your sweet heart stopped, with silent voice, you freed me from heartbreaking 'choice'.
The world forgets, my stomach shrinks, the hours drift by ... I breathe, I blink.
I scour the net for mums like me, who've lost their heart to Trisomy.

A world of pain we share online, it helps to talk, our words a shrine.
Life will go without you there, your quick demise seems so unfair.
Out from the screen you waved at me while they said 'abnormality'.
I won't forget you little one, my precious tiny un-born son.

Saturday, 22 April 2017


I look at you with heavy heart,
To talk of death how do I start?
You question now, ask why we die,
A look of worry in your eye.

I do not understand myself,
The fragile state of human health.
I talk of heaven and hope it's true,
Can't bear the thought of leaving you.

I'll always be right at your side,
Here or above I'll watch your ride.
I pray I live to see you grow,
To flourish, learn and then to go.

The cliches now come thick and fast,
But there's a reason these words last.
Life IS too short each moment fleeting,
I type these words, my sad heart beating.

Don't worry or fret about the past,
Friendships gone weren't meant to last.
Let stresses pass, the days are long,
Go for a walk or sing a song.

Treat each hour with due respect,
When sadness comes, sit and reflect.
Keep family close within your heart,
Don't waste a moment, this IS the start.

Thursday, 13 April 2017

How do I tell you?

I watch your deep untroubled sleep,
I stroke your hair and mutely weep.
How do I tell you when you rise?
It’s grief and pain that fills my eyes.

As my chest burns with fear of loss,
You dream of rides and candy floss.
I hold my phone and text a friend,
I pray … but know it is the end.

Sweet memories are crushing me,
Of hazy days spent by the sea,
Strong hands that lift above the waves,
Rock pools and nets and hidden caves.

You wriggle, laugh but do not wake,
My phone rings and I start to shake.
I see his face when you were born,
My heart rips further, shredded, torn.

He was so proud of you and I,
But time was up, he had to fly.
You’re only four, how to explain,
That life will never be the same.

Your eyes flick open, you stretch and yawn,
I hold you close, it’s almost dawn.
I sit, explain, watch as you cry …

Last night my Dad, your Grandad died.

Wednesday, 12 April 2017


I think of you each morning,
I can't believe you're gone,
I feel so lost I can't explain,
I'm trying hard to ride the pain.

I'm being strong for everyone,
I'm trying to be there for mum,
On earth, in heaven as life unfurls,
I'll always be your little girl.